MauleSkinner
Touchdown! Greaser!
At least it’s the same best man.
Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!
- Thread starter Let'sgoflying!
- Start date
Half Fast
Touchdown! Greaser!
Those Rowdy Irishmen!
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done,"what was that all about?"
"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
Half Fast
Touchdown! Greaser!
Ole dies. His widow, Lena, goes to post the obituary.
The clerk at the newspaper asks, ‘What do you want to print in the death notice?’
Lena, taciturn Swede that she is, says, ‘Print: Ole died.’
The clerk replies, ‘Don’t you want to say more than that? The first five words are free.’
Lena thinks for a minute and then says, ‘OK print this: Ole died. Airplane for sale.’
The clerk at the newspaper asks, ‘What do you want to print in the death notice?’
Lena, taciturn Swede that she is, says, ‘Print: Ole died.’
The clerk replies, ‘Don’t you want to say more than that? The first five words are free.’
Lena thinks for a minute and then says, ‘OK print this: Ole died. Airplane for sale.’
MauleSkinner
Touchdown! Greaser!
Ya know, back ven Ole and Lena got married, Dey took da bus up ta Dalut for der honeymoon.
About 15 miles outa Da Cities (dat’s da Twin Cities of Minneapolis an’ St. Paul, for dose of you not familiar) da bus breaks down. So everybody gets off da bus, and da bus driver’s fixing’ da bus, and Ole walks up ta Lena and says, “Lena, let’s go out in da woods and be like man and wife.”
Lena says, “No, Ole, we do dis right. We wait til we get ta Dalut.”
Pretty soon, da bus driver gets da bus fixed, everybody gets in da bus, and off dey go.
About 15 miles later, da bus breaks down again, so everybody gets off da bus, and da bus driver’s fixing’ da bus, and Ole walks up ta Lena and says, “Lena, let’s go out in da woods and be like man and wife.”
Lena says, “No, Ole, we do dis right. We wait til we get ta Dalut.”
Pretty soon, da bus driver gets da bus fixed, everybody gets in da bus, and off dey go.
About 10 miles later, da bus breaks down again, so everybody gets off da bus, and da bus driver’s fixing’ da bus, and Ole is off standing by hisself. Lena walks up to Ole and says, Ole, let’s go out in da woods and be like man and wife.”
Ole says, “But Lena, da last two times I asked, you said, ‘No, we do dis right, we wait til we get ta Dalut,’”
Lena says, “I know, Ole, but I was talking to dose hunters over dere, and dey said if dis bus breaks down one more time, da f***in’ season’s gonna be over!”
About 15 miles outa Da Cities (dat’s da Twin Cities of Minneapolis an’ St. Paul, for dose of you not familiar) da bus breaks down. So everybody gets off da bus, and da bus driver’s fixing’ da bus, and Ole walks up ta Lena and says, “Lena, let’s go out in da woods and be like man and wife.”
Lena says, “No, Ole, we do dis right. We wait til we get ta Dalut.”
Pretty soon, da bus driver gets da bus fixed, everybody gets in da bus, and off dey go.
About 15 miles later, da bus breaks down again, so everybody gets off da bus, and da bus driver’s fixing’ da bus, and Ole walks up ta Lena and says, “Lena, let’s go out in da woods and be like man and wife.”
Lena says, “No, Ole, we do dis right. We wait til we get ta Dalut.”
Pretty soon, da bus driver gets da bus fixed, everybody gets in da bus, and off dey go.
About 10 miles later, da bus breaks down again, so everybody gets off da bus, and da bus driver’s fixing’ da bus, and Ole is off standing by hisself. Lena walks up to Ole and says, Ole, let’s go out in da woods and be like man and wife.”
Ole says, “But Lena, da last two times I asked, you said, ‘No, we do dis right, we wait til we get ta Dalut,’”
Lena says, “I know, Ole, but I was talking to dose hunters over dere, and dey said if dis bus breaks down one more time, da f***in’ season’s gonna be over!”
Country Flier
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